Patient

Good in the Balance

I am normal.

OK, aside from that llama thing.

I have good days and bad.  Some days I am content, connected, focused, and motivated.  On those days I enjoy my job, I enjoy the people I’m with, I am willing to be inconvenienced by interruptions.

On other days…not so much.  I wake up grumpy and (despite multiple cups of coffee) continue it through the day.  I keep score of all the ways in which life has conspired to make the day difficult.  Too many red lights.  Too windy.  Clearly terrible things going on.  I am not patient with people, and am distracted by little things.

Like I said: I am normal.  I do my best to not let these things stand in the way of the care I give, and I try to hide my emotions from my patients.  It’s a necessary part of the job.  But there are still days I’m better at it than others.

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The Mission

It\’s a big job, but it\’s sure a lot easier when I have my nurses and my patients rooting for me and helping me achieve this goal.  Really.  I cannot express just how much better life is in this practice than it was in my old one.  From what I\’ve heard, things are just getting worse in that world.

It\’s my mission to help pave a road to a better way.  I am grateful to have not only nurses on my side, but patients joining in this mission.

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Heroic

I think there is something in us that makes us want to make heroes.  This is part of the attraction of sport and other entertainment.  We want to see people doing things that are amazing, superhuman, and heroic.  As a child, I imagined me hitting the home run in the bottom of the 9th inning, or hitting the basket with no time left on the clock.  I imagined the adulation and praise of my skill from the adoring masses.  I dreamed of being a hero.

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Occam\’s Razor Burn

As a clinician, I fantasize about being the heroic detective who notices those obscure facts that others would miss, coming up with the life saving  diagnosis when all others had failed.  This, unfortunately, is not how it usually works when dealing with real human patients, and my desire to find a single diagnosis to explain what is going on can actually distract me from finding the answers my patients need.

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Doctors aren\’t Healers

I\’ve heard many doctors refer to themselves as \”healers,\” as if we have some special power to bring about healing in our patients.  This idea confers some sort of a higher status and originates, to some, from a \”higher calling\” to a more noble life.  Again, this is a logical step, in that we have opportunities on a regular basis to help and even save the lives of people.  It\’s natural to believe that somehow the healing power comes from our touch, or even from our knowledge.

It doesn\’t.  I am not a healer.  

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Target Demographic

He seemed a bit grumpy when he came into the office.  I am used to the picture: male in his early to mid-forties, with wife by his side leading him into the office to \”finally get taken care of\” by the doctor.  Usually the woman has a disgusted expression on her face as he looks like a boy forced to spend his afternoon in a fabric store with his mother.  My office is the last place he wants to be.

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Madness

One of the main things driving  me back to blogging is madness.  While I can’t be sure that I am not overcome by madness, it is not my own of madness I am referring to.  Well, no, I am mad, but not mad in the way that I hear Elvis whispering in my ear or

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