Mad at your doc? Frustrated at being made to wait? Allow me to let you in on ten secret ways to really get under your doctor\’s skin. These tried and true techniques are sure to bring down even the best meaning physician.
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Talk about your cousin who is also their patient, but don\’t ever say their name. This is even better if you don\’t have a cousin.- Call all of your children by names that have nothing to do with their first, middle or last names. For instance, if your child\’s name is \”George W Bush\”, call them \”Sally-Jo.\”
- If you hurt your left hand or have a pain in your left ear, alternate saying \”left\” and \”right.\” When he asks, get annoyed like you are saying the same side.
- Page her at 2 AM to ask for something to help sleep.
- Body fluids. Bring them in by the gallon.
- Call in for refills on medications you have not taken for 2 or 3 years.
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Go to the local child rental agency and rent 3-4 preschoolers to have in the exam room with you. Make sure to give them plenty of caffeine.- Circle every item on the review of systems, as at some time in your life, you have had those symptoms.
- Have your teenage boy capable of only mumbling \”uh-uh-oh\” (I don\’t know) and \”nuh-un\” (Nothing) or your grandpa who has fairly advanced dementia come into the office unaccompanied. Make sure there is no way to reach other family members.
- Use lots of Ben Gay.
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Take my word for it, these are really tried and true.
Even if I was really mad I don’t think I could pull any of these off. Too funny.
Even if I was really mad I don’t think I could pull any of these off. Too funny.
If you will indulge me, I have a couple…12. “Aren’t you a little young to be a doctor?”
13. “How long have you been out of school?”
14. “Don’t you think you should send me to a ‘specialist’?”
I admit, these have made me consider selecting a slightly larger-gauge needle for arthrocentesis from time to time. Stinkin’ Hippocratic Oath…
If you will indulge me, I have a couple…12. “Aren’t you a little young to be a doctor?”
13. “How long have you been out of school?”
14. “Don’t you think you should send me to a ‘specialist’?”
I admit, these have made me consider selecting a slightly larger-gauge needle for arthrocentesis from time to time. Stinkin’ Hippocratic Oath…
Number 7 gets me every time. Do you know how much saliva a pre-schooler on caffeine can produce? If only they could use it to run cars.
Number 7 gets me every time. Do you know how much saliva a pre-schooler on caffeine can produce? If only they could use it to run cars.
sigh. I wish I never had to bring kids with me to the doctor…
sigh. I wish I never had to bring kids with me to the doctor…
Hmmm.. I will have to give my kids some coffee before they go in to the doctor’s office next time. Thanks for the idea!
Hmmm.. I will have to give my kids some coffee before they go in to the doctor’s office next time. Thanks for the idea!
You forgot to add waiting until your hand is on the door handle to leave, and the real big question or symptom comes.
You forgot to add waiting until your hand is on the door handle to leave, and the real big question or symptom comes.
11. Don’t forget your cell phone. Bury it deep in your purse. Insist on answering it when it rings (despite the signs requesting that cell phones be turned off). Have a nice long conversation about which set of tires to buy at Walmart, the date that Jimmy had last night, the cost of gas….
11. Don’t forget your cell phone. Bury it deep in your purse. Insist on answering it when it rings (despite the signs requesting that cell phones be turned off). Have a nice long conversation about which set of tires to buy at Walmart, the date that Jimmy had last night, the cost of gas….
Aaaahhhh, he’s singing my tune. I hate the cell phone exchange!!! I just had it the other day, while trying to discuss her follow up appt. she would need. Right there and then whips out the phone. I can tell you what I would have liked to do with said phone. My good nature is starting to go out the window, Rob. How do you hang on to it?
Aaaahhhh, he’s singing my tune. I hate the cell phone exchange!!! I just had it the other day, while trying to discuss her follow up appt. she would need. Right there and then whips out the phone. I can tell you what I would have liked to do with said phone. My good nature is starting to go out the window, Rob. How do you hang on to it?
Or ignore the doctor and talk to your child about Sponge Bob.SO true, particularly number 9.
Or ignore the doctor and talk to your child about Sponge Bob.SO true, particularly number 9.
How to Bug a Doctor…
Mad at your doc? Frustrated at being made to wait? Allow me to let you in on ten secret ways to really get under your doctors skin. These tried and true techniques are sure to bring down even the best meaning physician….
How about leaving a message to call back about an important issue only to get voicemail, or do do beep – the number you have dialed does not accept calls from unidentified callers, please hang up…
How about leaving a message to call back about an important issue only to get voicemail, or do do beep – the number you have dialed does not accept calls from unidentified callers, please hang up…
Yeppers, I can sympathize…from the other side of the fence. I’m sure y’all don’t do it, but how about the doctor who:
1) Tells you about her bad day, her bad marriage, and her bad staff….
2) Walks out to answer HIS cell phone…. and leaves me half dressed and freezing for what seems an eternity but was probably about 20″ minutes.
3) Requests body fluids right after I’ve just been to the bathroom. (And I asked, first.)
4) Is a chain smoker (she had to be…she reeked of it) who breathed right into my nostrils while examining me.
5) Who says, ” “I don’t really have time for this right now, let’s cut to the chase.” after I’ve waited over 2 months to see her (and paid my specialist co-pay which is much larger than my PCP’s co-pay)
6) Who told my friend with Cushing’s seeking help for what they then thought was bi-polar (but was the Cushing’s, instead), “I love manic women at a bar, because not only will they sleep with you but they will sleep with all of your friends too!.”
7) Who told my same friend, “Can I just call you fat?”
8) Who told me “You are just meant to be fat”.
9) Who told another friend after she said she couldn’t seem to stop gaining weight and was exercising over an hour a day on a 1200 calorie a day diet, “Well, you are getting older, it is to be expected.” She was 22 years old.
10) Who said to an overweight Cushing’s friend, “It is a shame, you have such a pretty face and could be on television”.
11) Who said to a friend who had a BLA, “So when are you going to get off the steroids? ”
12) Who has umpteen dozen buttons to push when I call but I can’t get a real person, especially when I’m so sick I can’t find a button on a phone anyhow.
13) Who says gastric by-pass surgery will cure the Cushing’s.
Ok…I’ll leave it at that odd number…
Just as all doctors aren’t like what I’ve listed above, all patients aren’t like you listed above, either, and some of that is probably due to miscommunication. A lot of it is due to rudeness (both sides). People in general are rude anymore, I think. I’m not sure why other than no one bothers to teach manners.
I howled at #2…you definitely live in the south. HA!
#8..I resemble that remark…sigh… I never know which to do because I’ve been chastised for circling them all and I’ve been chastised for not circling them all. It’s never clear.
Uh…one question…do y’all use the photocopied forms that have been run through the copier so many times they are so warped and skewed only the very young can read them? Do the online, fill-in forms, PLEASE! (A nice database is always refreshing.) Or at least type up new ones that can be printed fresh.
Ok…now that I’ve totally hijacked this post with my inane comments, I leave with apologies and a smile. It was not done with animosity, honestly. Just a bit of repartee, if you will.
Yeppers, I can sympathize…from the other side of the fence. I’m sure y’all don’t do it, but how about the doctor who:
1) Tells you about her bad day, her bad marriage, and her bad staff….
2) Walks out to answer HIS cell phone…. and leaves me half dressed and freezing for what seems an eternity but was probably about 20″ minutes.
3) Requests body fluids right after I’ve just been to the bathroom. (And I asked, first.)
4) Is a chain smoker (she had to be…she reeked of it) who breathed right into my nostrils while examining me.
5) Who says, ” “I don’t really have time for this right now, let’s cut to the chase.” after I’ve waited over 2 months to see her (and paid my specialist co-pay which is much larger than my PCP’s co-pay)
6) Who told my friend with Cushing’s seeking help for what they then thought was bi-polar (but was the Cushing’s, instead), “I love manic women at a bar, because not only will they sleep with you but they will sleep with all of your friends too!.”
7) Who told my same friend, “Can I just call you fat?”
8) Who told me “You are just meant to be fat”.
9) Who told another friend after she said she couldn’t seem to stop gaining weight and was exercising over an hour a day on a 1200 calorie a day diet, “Well, you are getting older, it is to be expected.” She was 22 years old.
10) Who said to an overweight Cushing’s friend, “It is a shame, you have such a pretty face and could be on television”.
11) Who said to a friend who had a BLA, “So when are you going to get off the steroids? ”
12) Who has umpteen dozen buttons to push when I call but I can’t get a real person, especially when I’m so sick I can’t find a button on a phone anyhow.
13) Who says gastric by-pass surgery will cure the Cushing’s.
Ok…I’ll leave it at that odd number…
Just as all doctors aren’t like what I’ve listed above, all patients aren’t like you listed above, either, and some of that is probably due to miscommunication. A lot of it is due to rudeness (both sides). People in general are rude anymore, I think. I’m not sure why other than no one bothers to teach manners.
I howled at #2…you definitely live in the south. HA!
#8..I resemble that remark…sigh… I never know which to do because I’ve been chastised for circling them all and I’ve been chastised for not circling them all. It’s never clear.
Uh…one question…do y’all use the photocopied forms that have been run through the copier so many times they are so warped and skewed only the very young can read them? Do the online, fill-in forms, PLEASE! (A nice database is always refreshing.) Or at least type up new ones that can be printed fresh.
Ok…now that I’ve totally hijacked this post with my inane comments, I leave with apologies and a smile. It was not done with animosity, honestly. Just a bit of repartee, if you will.
I’ve been sending my 19 y/o off to the doctor by himself.
I figure it’s good experience. So far he’s managed to screw up his paperwork for immunizations required to live in the college dorm. Then he got to learn a life lesson about appealing for mercy to the college housing office while he waits for the correct paperwork.
I got the idea from the high school guidance counselor who told me that he didn’t do schedule changes based on conversations with mothers.
I’m sorry if he came to your office and mumbled. Given his cell plan he probably also text messaged while he was there.
I’ve been sending my 19 y/o off to the doctor by himself.
I figure it’s good experience. So far he’s managed to screw up his paperwork for immunizations required to live in the college dorm. Then he got to learn a life lesson about appealing for mercy to the college housing office while he waits for the correct paperwork.
I got the idea from the high school guidance counselor who told me that he didn’t do schedule changes based on conversations with mothers.
I’m sorry if he came to your office and mumbled. Given his cell plan he probably also text messaged while he was there.
Ah, and I see my doctor tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the tips. Can I give him your email address in case he has any follow-up questions? 🙂
Ah, and I see my doctor tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the tips. Can I give him your email address in case he has any follow-up questions? 🙂
My way of protesting and their way of annoying me: keep sending me bills when you glaringly misdiagnosed my condition.
Hello??! Hey ding-dong ~ I don’t have MS or “chronic migraines” I had a tumor in my head! Stop billing me, you freakin’ hack.
My way of protesting and their way of annoying me: keep sending me bills when you glaringly misdiagnosed my condition.
Hello??! Hey ding-dong ~ I don’t have MS or “chronic migraines” I had a tumor in my head! Stop billing me, you freakin’ hack.
Haha, great list! But I have always thought the Review of Systems was a waste of time. I hate it and usually ignore it anyway.
Oh, and I just passed my FP Board Recertification test! Woohoo!
Haha, great list! But I have always thought the Review of Systems was a waste of time. I hate it and usually ignore it anyway.
Oh, and I just passed my FP Board Recertification test! Woohoo!
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