Blast From The Past: Child Drives SUV

The following post appeared first on 7/25/06.
Not to be outdone by a dog…

\"\"A 5-year-old boy hopped behind the wheel of a sport utility vehicle and drove it several blocks looking for his mother following an argument with his grandmother, authorities said.

The child was not injured in his short drive last Wednesday, and his grandmother\’s 2004 Cadillac Escalade was stopped without incident.

The boy, whose full name wasn\’t released, started the truck, cranked up the stereo and stood on the driver\’s seat to see over the steering wheel, Washtenaw County Sheriff\’s Cmdr. Dave Egeler told The Ann Arbor News.

The boy told sheriff\’s deputies he was \”looking for his mommy,\” police reports said. He was not expected to face any charges.

A motorist called police to report that her vehicle was nearly struck by an SUV that appeared to be driven by a child. Egeler said an off-duty deputy also noticed the boy and pulled him from the vehicle before he drove any farther.

\"\"The boy and his grandmother, who is his custodial guardian, got into an argument at their home in Ypsilanti Township, Egeler said. He grabbed the car keys and was told to drop them, authorities said, but took off after the grandmother became distracted by her infant granddaughter.

I find it especially amusing that:

  1. He got into an argument with is grandmother, got real ticked-off, and took off with the keys. I hate to think of how he will be as a teenager.
  2. He cranked up the stereo while he drove. I think he played \”Rockin\’ Down the Highway\” by the Doobie Brothers.
  3. He drove several blocks without crashing the car.
  4. They actually say \”He was not expected to face any charges.\” Nah, throw him in the slammer! The punk. Try him as an adult. If he wants to be big, he needs to be treated like an adult.
  5. It appears the infant created a diversion so he could carry out his plan. What a crafty infant!
  6. He has driven an Escalade before I have. Lucky duck.

So what is the take-home message? Well, our days of trusting young children have drawn to a close. I\’m sure he will have his driving privileges taken away for the next…10 years. He will never be satisfied with a Big Wheel again.
Maybe he just wanted to get out of a town with a goofy name. Ypsilanti….Sheesh!