Search Me

13 Comments / Humor / By

\"searchlight_400_x\" So what brought you here? Why are you here visiting my blog? What brought you here the first time? Many come via links from other blogs. For some it is just extremely bad luck that brought them to here. Perhaps it is some ancient curse put on your ancestors that causes you to be condemned to repeatedly reading such silliness. Whatever the cause, you are here now reading this blog.
Yet there is a segment of my readership that came for very strange reasons. Yes, I am talking about those who got here through the all-powerful search engine. In looking over my stats (sorry, I do that some still), I noted some significant things. For instance, here is the top 17 searches that got people to my blog over the past 4 months (with the number of hits):

1. nose (219) – Why the nose? Why not the uvula? What is it about the nose that totally smokes the other body parts? Clearly the nose is way out in front (which is appropriate, I guess).

2. nerd (186) – Now wait a minute! How did that get people here?

3. taco (105) – A delightful food, yes. I guess people cant resist the crunchy delight of a taco. I know I can\’t.

4. \"babyCAMERA_468x378\"hemochromatosis (59) – Not sure why this is the only disease on the list.

5. styes (58) – Spelled in many ways. No searches on Chalazion or Hordeolum, though.

6. fat baby (44) – I NEVER did a post on fat babies. Maybe I should, though. I\’d get more hits.

7. david hasselhoff (44) – Yes, I do kind of look like him. Not as clever, though.

8. moses (36) – This one makes me feel a little guilty. What would Moses think about my blog? Dang. I\’d better get my act together!

9. smurfs (35) – Not really a major running theme, but less frightening than Moses.\"papa_smurf\"

10. ketchup (35) – A smurf always tastes better with ketchup.

11. tom e jerry (35) – e? not \’n? not &? That confuses e bothers me.

12. smurf (33) – OK, this is getting creepy. I have the plural e the singular. That\’s a lot o\’ smurfs!

13. \"smurf\" bulbasaur (31) – Good. The Bulbasaur should be able to cream all those smurfs.

14. distractable (30) – …huh? What was that you said?

15. speedboat (27) – Probably how all of those smurfs and fat babies got here

16. physical exam (27) – I did a whole series on this! It had better get somewhere on the list.

17. musings of a distractible mind (26) – Great, I am behind noses, fat babies, smurfs, e speedboats! The nose is 10 times more popular than I am! I guess I am not yet a household name….

\"SmurfIceCream\"

OK, so now here are some of the more interesting searches that recently got people here:

  1. Disorderly Fetus – I almost got arrested for disorderly fetus once.
  2. \"Clay-Aiken-Photograph-C12145964\" Clay Robots – Wasn\’t he on American Idol?
  3. Toilets Boy – Is that possessive? The toilet owns the boy?
  4. Antibiotics high dose short time cats – I understood this one until the word \”cats\” came up. Perhaps we can has cheeseburger with our own antibiotic LOL cats.
  5. What is exciting about antibiotics? – I don\’t know. Ask the cats.
  6. Interactive urinal communicator – Just put that little wafer by your ear…
  7. Dr Rob Ontario psychic – Is this a guy, or did some guy rob a psychic? eh?
  8. Chromossome x – The person who did this one was probably missing a few Chromossomes.
  9. girl bulbasaur – To mate with the boys and get rid of all those pesky smurfs.
  10. \"Khumbu-Thame-03-cow-smart-looking\" ninja cows – Scary. They are everywhere!
  11. sexy toilets – I am baffled by this one. It is hard to imagine what they were thinking. The world is an odd place.
  12. fixated and distractible – That would be a good name for a band. Good oxymoron.
  13. webkinz ass only – Ummm…..do you mean a Donkey?
  14. babs\’ uvula, gilda radner – Wha…..?
  15. best pencil sharpener in the world – I got a lot of pencil sharpener searches. I am not sure why. To my knowledge I never talked about them. Dang, after this post, my pencil sharpener hits will skyrocket!
  16. original pencil sharpener – Accept no imitations!\"6571480-0-large\"
  17. webkinz virus – It causes you to go Awwww….. and drop $17 on a doll.
  18. were to buy a llama – I wish I knew.
  19. \"070227_obama_wide.hlarge\"even my llama is for obama – This was inevitable. I have to say, he would be the first president to rhyme with llama. That has got to count for something!
  20. precious moments doctors – From the pit of hell….
  21. onion alpaca – I personally prefer the ginger dromedary.

\"smurf

So if you came here by search, pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable. We have a grand ol\’ time talking about just about anything. Plus, I need helps getting rid of all of these smurfs.

13 thoughts on “Search Me”

  1. SeaSpray

    Love this post Dr Rob…very funny!! 🙂
    I admittedly have gotten fixated on urine/urology jokes because of my urological issues. (If ya don’t laugh..ya cry) I am better for the most part now and pray it stays that way.

    I have been collecting all urology inquiries since last summer with the idea of doing a post tying them together onto a story or doing something as you have done.

    A couple of days ago I got an inquiry that is non urolgical but trumps all the other. Some of these inquiries are funny and sometimes intriguing or perplexing.

    Anyway…still collecting data until my creative light bulb pops on. 🙂

  2. SeaSpray

    Love this post Dr Rob…very funny!! 🙂
    I admittedly have gotten fixated on urine/urology jokes because of my urological issues. (If ya don’t laugh..ya cry) I am better for the most part now and pray it stays that way.

    I have been collecting all urology inquiries since last summer with the idea of doing a post tying them together onto a story or doing something as you have done.

    A couple of days ago I got an inquiry that is non urolgical but trumps all the other. Some of these inquiries are funny and sometimes intriguing or perplexing.

    Anyway…still collecting data until my creative light bulb pops on. 🙂

  4. CrazyRN2Be

    That was too funny! I enjoy reading your blogs, you should stop in e visit mine sometime!

  5. Dr. Val

    This is hilarious, bizarre, and mildly disturbing. A search can say so much… As you already know, badger tuberculosis is one of my favorite search terms that leads folks to my door… 😉 You can have the smurfs.

  6. Dr. Val

    This is hilarious, bizarre, and mildly disturbing. A search can say so much… As you already know, badger tuberculosis is one of my favorite search terms that leads folks to my door… 😉 You can have the smurfs.

  8. The Laundress

    I was just looking for a bit of enlightenment.
    Honest.

    No interest in donkeys and llamas and/or pencil sharpeners.

    You raise interesting questions about what people stumble upon when really looking for something else. Sometimes, the comments are a clue.

    Most visitors to my blog become angry due to the lack of titillating material. They tell me I am disappointing, um, in less than friendly terms. I delete these cruelties.

    Aw nuts but stain removal is exciting stuff.

    You found a SUPERB bovine image. A whole blog or at least a year’s worth of posts might be devoted to that picture.

  9. The Laundress

    I was just looking for a bit of enlightenment.
    Honest.

    No interest in donkeys and llamas and/or pencil sharpeners.

    You raise interesting questions about what people stumble upon when really looking for something else. Sometimes, the comments are a clue.

    Most visitors to my blog become angry due to the lack of titillating material. They tell me I am disappointing, um, in less than friendly terms. I delete these cruelties.

    Aw nuts but stain removal is exciting stuff.

    You found a SUPERB bovine image. A whole blog or at least a year’s worth of posts might be devoted to that picture.

  10. tiff

    Nothing so bizarre as your search engine results.I was merely looking for what to look for in a paediatrician as I was feeling not very confident in ours.
    I stumbled across your post about doctor/client relationship, which changed the way I looked at our doctor. All for the good, I might add.

  11. tiff

    Nothing so bizarre as your search engine results.I was merely looking for what to look for in a paediatrician as I was feeling not very confident in ours.
    I stumbled across your post about doctor/client relationship, which changed the way I looked at our doctor. All for the good, I might add.

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